This is it. This... is your story. It all begins here.

Press Start Dear Author Letter

Tue, 07 Jul 2015 20:58:45 GMT

Dear Press Start Author,

First of all, I am so sorry this took so long. I hope it is still useful to you in some way.

Second of all, thank you for taking the time to read this! I am just going to put some of my general likes and dislikes and some thoughts about the characters for you to take or leave.

First of all, general likes/ideas: I am a shippy person, so any ship-type fic I will love. I love the idea of forbidden love, that sort of clandestine connection where you're guilty yet you KNOW it's right. Of course, those kinds of things often come with consequences, so stories that explore both the love/passion and the consequences of those actions are a particular guilty pleasure. I am completely open to smut/sex if that's your thing.

Another theme I love from each of these games is the coming of age of each of the female characters. Each of them goes through a journey that transforms them mentally and emotionally, and for Yuna and Serah especially you can see how they both physically and mentally change through their respective games and sequels. But with Lightning, Ashe and Penelo as well, you see all five of these women learn new things about themselves, become more independent and certain of themselves, and mature. It only stands to reason that their relationships would change as well.

For the guys, I often wonder about the conflict between love of duty/country and that more personal love and self-discovery. How do they conflict, and would an attraction/love interest disrupt that? How does that change their perception of themselves?

I also enjoy stories about marriage and family, pregnancy/babies, and all the potential drama and consequences that come from them.

Again, these are all just ideas and thoughts. Feel free to take them or completely leave them. In closing, here are a few ideas about how I see these characters. Again, PLEASE DO NOT think I am saying this is how things must be. It's just an idea of how I think these couples are even possible. I know I will love whatever you do, and I'm looking forward to reading it! Thank you again!

Final Fantasy XIII Series

These are my main ships, and then a bit about the characters within them.

Lightning/Snow - Pretty much my OTP. One of my favorite scenes in Lightning Returns is when Lightning finally finds Snow and confronts him to fight him. That is the most passion and emotion you see from her in the entire series until later on, I think. Snow has a certain place in her heart and under her skin, and yes, that does have some to do with his relationship with Serah, but she says over and over throughout the game that he just has this way of getting under her skin. I think he challenges her, he has represented the repressed things she really wants in life, and they both have a love of adventure and need to be active. I love how they just push each other's buttons and don't know whether to strangle each other or kiss. Some ideas for this pairing could be something set after the resolution of the Yusnaan sidequest in Lightning Returns or something showing what kind of "conversation" Light and Snow had when she appeared in the dream that inspired him to go on his journey. Also, explorations of their loneliness and isolation, or perhaps a post-LR fic looking back on the entire journey.

Serah/Hope - I think Serah and Hope have a lot in common, with her love of historical research (considering that's what got her branded to begin with) and Hope's research as well. Both have lost parents and feel a certain amount of isolation. I noticed Hope's flushed reactions to seeing Serah again, his grabbing her hand, his joy at seeing her again each time and wondered if there was an attraction/crush there. I think Serah would possibly outgrow Snow and his need for wandering and adventure and find Hope a more stable and suitable match. After all, she can now save herself; she doesn't need a hero to save her. Missing scenes from any of the trips to Academia or Yaschas Massif in XIII-2 would be interesting, or perhaps something pre-Lightning Returns before Hope disappears that focuses on his thoughts for her, especially with the two other men that meant so much to her around could be fascinating. I'm also all for finding ways for Serah to speak to Hope from the chaos ;).

(P.S. What about Serah and Snow, you ask? - I love Serah and I love Snow, but I imagine that they just end up wanting different things in life and changing so much through XIII-2 and LR. I imagine they would always be friends, but they are better suited for others. An exploration of exactly how they are changed by the events of those games would be fascinating.)

Noel/Yeul - I would love to know more about Yeul and her journey. What is really going on in her head? What does she truly think about Noel - does she think she really has a future with him? What does her future with him look like? I would love a kind of coming-of-age/sexual awakening story for one or both of them, either Noel first really realizing he is attracted to Yeul, or Yeul coming into her own attraction. How would Yeul handle that - does that make her path that much harder?

Final Fantasy Type-0

I don't have as many die-hard ships in this group, but I love the characters. Here are some of my thoughts/questions about them.

Rem/Machina - I do ship these two, and I would love to just see some of that forbidden romance/stolen moment stuff between them. Maybe another Class Zero classmate is spying on them and is jealous/curious/judgmental/something?

Sice - I think Sice harbors a lot of inner pain, which leads her to be as combative and argumentative as she is. Did she go through some trauma pre-game that affected her? Does she have any close trust/connections with anyone? I do ship Sice/Seven, so I would love to see an exploration of the sparks of love or attraction starting to kindle even in the hell that is this war. The contrast of tender emotions and vulnerability with two people who have to be hard, kill, and experience so much bloodshed would be wonderful.

Seven - She takes on so much, trying to care for others. It must be exhausting. Again, see my ship with her and Sice. I also rather like the idea of her with King.

King - Speaking of King, I am fascinated by his Rubicus entry where it mentions that his stoic and quiet demeanor is really sort of a put on to protect him from the horrors of what he has experienced. It says he's quite thoughtful - what does he think about? (Some inspiration: http://justgames93.tumblr.com/post/121330278741/king-part-1 - http://justgames93.tumblr.com/post/121330360551/king-part-2 - http://justgames93.tumblr.com/post/121330425291/king-part-3 - http://justgames93.tumblr.com/post/121330466011/king-part-4) Again, any kind of burgeoning romance/sexual attraction with Seven is also good.

Trey - Trey is kind of my baby in the whole Type-0 franchise. He is such a jerk, but it's all to mask an intense insecurity. I would love to see that insecurity explored. He also has a difficult time forming relationships because he keeps everyone at arm's length with his constant talking. He also seems to compare himself to other people a lot. I also find the little anecdote of him spending all that time reading the books in Dr. Al-Rashia's office just to try to be near her to be fascinating. Poor baby just wants to be loved, even if he is insufferable. It's hard for me to find someone to ship him with - but if there is one of my named favorite characters you feel strongly about him with, I'm open! Also, some inspiration posts: http://justgames93.tumblr.com/post/121099639246/trey-part-1 - http://justgames93.tumblr.com/post/121099774251/trey-part-3 - http://justgames93.tumblr.com/post/121099701881/trey-part-2 - http://justgames93.tumblr.com/post/121099929796/trey-part-5)

Final Fantasy X and X-2

Yuna/Auron - I envision this as an attraction of like-minded souls. They are both passionate and fervent in their beliefs, dedicated to the ones they care about. They have a great deal in common, with similar educational upbringings, and of course the shared connection through Braska. Auron has an enduring, formidable presence that I think would make a great impression on Yuna, and Yuna's idealism and stubborn determination would speak to the core of who Auron was as a young man (and perhaps deep down still is; and how Braska was). Any attraction Yuna and Auron have to each other, in my mind, would not negate any of their other attractions/relationships. Love and attraction are complicated things. Weird, forbidden love/lust during Yuna's pilgrimage could be very hot, or reminisces during X-2 or of course playing with the Farplane and reality/dreams could be very fun. And let's be honest, Auron is just hot.

(What about Yuna and Tidus? - I believe the attraction between Yuna and Tidus was very real. Tidus came at just the right time to offer her hope and give her support when the others were stuck in their preconceived notions of how her pilgrimage should go. Theirs was a very young and immature love, and I think with everything that happened to Yuna, she grew, matured and changed, and I think it's reasonable to assume her priorities could have shifted. Even during her pilgrimage, it's reasonable to think that as she began to question things more and became aware of the world more, she could have formed attractions or fascinations with other men in addition to Tidus.)

Braska/Jecht/Auron - I am a big fan of pilgrimage-fic as well. The emotional toll this journey took on everyone, particularly Auron, who then has to live on and go through it all over again.

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FFXIII-verse ship vanvids

Tue, 01 Jul 2014 14:48:28 GMT

I love AMV/GMV fanvids, and I recently found a couple with my favorite guilty pleasure FFXIII-verse couples.

Hope/Serah "Your Heart Was Never Mine"
FINALLY someone gives Hope/Serah some love! Though it's actually very bittersweet and sad, it's nice to at least see them shipped in a fanvid together. :)

Snow/Lightning "Dark Horse"
A Snow/Lightning fanvid that incorporates some of my favorite footage from Lightning Returns - from Snow and Lightning's final confrontation. Oh, the passion. The longing. The undeniable sexual tension.

I may have to start posting more of my favorite fanvids, since they're always more fun when shared.

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New Fandoms and Ship Manifestos

Mon, 16 May 2011 06:03:21 GMT

So, fell_lindzei has been using our Netflix account for the forces of good and queuing up lots of anime, which has been quite... inspirational.

It takes me a long time to warm up to a series, but when I fall, I fall hard. It's been good to give me a break from the Final Fantasy characters. It's been really intense, and I've been a bit burned out, especially with XIII.

The first series we've gotten in to is Fullmetal Alchemist. I've got a lot of emotional investment in those characters now, especially in Maes Hughes, Roy Mustang and Riza Hawkeye. We've finished the first anime, and now I'm looking forward to watching Brotherhood. I imagine fic will be forthcoming at some point.

Even more inspirational has been Soul Eater. At first it felt too childish and comical for me, but it's just deep enough. I feel like I'm left wanting more, which makes it ripe for fanwork. I've inexplicably gotten fixated on Death the Kid and Chrona, and I've actually been writing something based on them.

In Final Fantasy news, Ship Manifesto has declared a Free for All in May and June, so I'm going to finish my Auron/Yuna manifesto and possibly even write a Snow/Lightning piece.

I sound so optimistic, don't I?

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My Doink! Runneth Over.

Sun, 15 May 2011 00:10:12 GMT

As I have been celebrating for the past couple of months, I got to participate in the actual ff_exchange this year. I was really proud of myself for writing the prompt I was assigned, completing a pinch hit and even managing to squeeze out a bit of Moogle Fluff at the end.

As a bonus, I was shocked and delighted to find I had not one, but TWO gifts waiting for me! I really hit the jackpot this year. I've also found several other stories I loved, and will come in a recs post to follow.

Here are my contributions (all are PG-13 at most):

After All This Time, I Found Myself In You for dagas_isa (FFXIII, Serah/Vanille) - Now Serah is the one who can't find the right words, either to tell Snow that their marriage was a mistake, or to tell Vanille how she truly feels.

Forget Me Not for skybluecassowary (FFXIII, Fang/Vanille, Snow/Serah) - Snow and Fang share the watch and their thoughts on the ones they cherish most. As Fang opens up about what Vanille truly means to her, Snow discovers there is much more to both Fang and Vanille--and their relationship--than what everyone sees.

All Work and No Play Makes Life a Beach for Yati (FFX-2, Baralai/Gippal) - Post-game. Baralai's a busy man, so Gippal gets sneaky in order to get him alone.

I was so glad to get to write more in the FFXIII-verse. It was funny, because fell_lindzei and I have talked at length about Fang and Vanille's relationship, especially what it was that Fang saw into Vanille. She had only recently showed me the prologues that showed exactly what the girls had gone through together on Pulse that made Fang so fiercely loyal and protective. I also enjoy Serah and Vanille as a fluffy pairing. One of these days I will take on some good old fashioned smut with them. Baralai and Gippal are one of my favorite pairings ever, and there just isn't enough fic with them out there. I have been writing so much angst-fic that it was nice to have a fun, light story just roll off my fingers for once.

My two gifts, both from my wonderful gifter SteelStar (who I think I'd really like to get to know!):

Walls of Glass by SteelStar (FFXII, Basch/Ashe) - It was a doomed romance from the start.

All Good Things by SteelStar (FFXIII, Snow/Lightning, Hope/Serah, everyone else) - The years came and went, with more love and more tears. More death and more life, more problems and more solutions. This was the way that their race was meant to live, Serah was sure of it.

Both of SteelStar's stories are absolutely wonderful. There is a wonderful background laid for the tension that came later for Basch and Ashe, and explores some of the machinations of royalty and living in the sort of sheltered, controlled way a princess and a soldier of the crown would live. The XIII piece is as fluffy as it gets, and it just pants a sweet, happy post-XIII picture that makes my shippy fangirl heart sigh. It's sort of how I like to imagine the world, because I'm a sucker for ships and happy endings. Yes, I'm one of those.

I would also be remiss if I didn't mention the intense, creepy story that fell_lindzei contributed for her requester. It has underage sex (not described, but it fades to black) incest and dubcon in what could be a boatload of squick depending on your inclinations, but what I love about it is how it shows the way Larsa could be so easily brought down the same dark path as his brother by means of his upbringing, and then what is more fascinating to me is how he brings Basch with him down that path. Her Basch is exquisite.

His Excellency and the Hound by fell_lindzei (FFXII, Larsa/Basch, Larsa/Vayne) - Post-Game. Larsa can't decide where his brother ends, and Basch begins. In the wake of Vayne's death, he debates what it means to be a man as taught to him by his brother, and the loyalty he commands now as Emperor. For one night Larsa explores the manhood proper he is entering into, and he releases his "hound" from his leash. Basch refuses to be considered as such, but it has been a long time since anything has tempted him like this.

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Fandom Workshop Weekend

Mon, 09 May 2011 00:22:12 GMT

One wonderful thing about living with fell_lindzei is that our house is like a continual fandom workshop. While we were both finishing up our stories for ff_exchange we were bouncing ideas off of each other and betaing each other's stories. We share fic we like and then can sit together and discuss it. We had a half-hour long discussion about Roy Mustang/Ed Elric vs. Roy Mustang/Riza Hawkeye while she got ready for work today. What an amazing life.

So yes, the Doink! story is done and submitted, although my picky self keeps going back, re-reading it, and finding ways to improve it. It seems like the images in my head never come out on paper in the way I wish they would. I guess that's why we keep practicing, to get better. Now that my work schedule is (hopefully) lightening up, I will have more time for such things.

I want to try a few Moogle Fluff prompts, just to keep the momentum I got from writing my assignment. Also, the Ship Manifesto community on LiveJournal woke up after a long slumber, which means my Auron/Yuna Manifesto needs to be dusted off and completed.

I also have this pesky epic XII fic sitting over here intimidating me. It is huge, and I just don't know where to begin.

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FFEX - Yay!

Sat, 02 Apr 2011 22:57:16 GMT

Got my ff_exchange prompts, and I'm super excited to start work on them. It's always hard to prepare for exchanges, because the things you anticipate are never anything like what you get. I got some good ones, though, and I may even be able to write more than one.

Let the fun begin!

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I have been waiting a year for this.

Thu, 03 Mar 2011 02:15:28 GMT

I managed to get in on the tail-end of last year's Doink! as a pinch hitter. I'm so excited to be able to participate this year! I've been browsing the Chocobo Down prompts, and I've found about 6 that I would love to write. Yikes. We'll see if I can chisel some time in my schedule this week to write a prompt or two. I'll have to find out how to post them... not sure how we find out who they're for.

Work has consumed me, leaving me precious little time for writing or much of anything else. I'm looking forward to changing that.

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Kiss Battle 2011

Tue, 15 Feb 2011 06:59:29 GMT

I had a fun time writing for Kiss Battle 2011 -- it got me writing some fandoms I'd never had a chance to write before. There were so many more prompts I wanted to write, and I hope to still write some others. It's Valentine's Day, though, so I feel like I should post the ones I have written, along with a few recs.

My fics:

They’ll Sell Your Wounds As Evidence of Your Hope (FFX; Auron/Yuna; PG) In the wake of Operation Mi'ihen fragile lives hang in the balance; fragile realities teeter. As Auron watches Yuna come into her own while tending to the wounded and dying, he contemplates the damage when they shatter.

Inadequate (FFXIII; Vanille/Serah; PG) Vanille can't find the words for what she's done.

Promises (FFVII:AC; Cloud & Marlene, Cloud/Tifa; PG) Cloud is finally ready to start making promises he can keep.

Recs:

Spiral Out by fell_lindzei (FFX; Seymour/Yuna; NC-17) On the eve of Seymour and Yuna's wedding, Seymour makes it clear she will never forget him. - This story is absolutely creepy and left me almost feeling dirty, yet it's a scarily accurate portrayal of Seymour, and I love the way she portrays Yuna as this quiet pillar of strength and determination. Not for the faint of heart, but excellent.

Wounded by owlmoose (FFXII; Basch/Ashe; PG) In a time of battle, healing comes in many forms. - One of my favorite responses to the meme. I love the way she depicted the team fighting together and the different personalities. The tension between Ashe and Basch is perfect, and I like the slow, tentative trust and undeniable attraction. There were so many gaping holes in XII, and this just fits in perfectly.

This Is a Cold War by crankyoldman (FFX; Auron/Yuna; PG-13) - It's no secret that I love Auron and Yuna together, and this is a wonderful study of Auron especially, and his relationships with both Tidus and Yuna, seen through the lenses of his relationships with their fathers. This showed the many similarities between Auron and Yuna, and it was done very nicely.

On the Rocks by seventhe (FFVII; Reno/Tifa; PG) - The prompt was someone to kiss Reno and knock him on his ass, and this story does it literally and figuratively. The characterizations are spot-on, and the story is fun, funny and hot all at once. That's a perfect combination.

Bon Voyage by lassarina (FFIX; Vivi/Bobby Corwen; G) - This story is short, but it is absolutely perfect. I love Vivi, and the author captures Vivi's personality and the spirit of the prompt in a way that had me saying, "Awwww!" out loud. In fact, every time I read it I say the same thing.

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On Auron and Yuna

Fri, 04 Feb 2011 18:56:41 GMT

I've been having a lot of fun with the Final Fantasy Kiss Battle 2011 while snowed in. It's gotten me thinking about several pairings, which is always fun, but then someone besides myself requested an Auron/Yuna kiss. I don't know whether this person ships them the way I do, but I couldn't help jumping at the chance.

It makes me realize that I've never really laid out my "case" for them as a pairing. In fact, I've really not been able to put out much fic relating to them because I spend so much time on trying to weave it all into canon that I can't just let my brain go with the chemistry I believe they have. One of these days I'll let myself off my leash.

BUT ANYWAY.

I believe that Yuna suits Auron better than any of the women he's normally paired with. Her kindness, playfulness, determination and loyalty echo those of her father, with whom Auron was very close. They're qualities Auron admires, and it stands to reason that he would be attracted to someone who shares them. She also has the same rebellious streak that has been fostered in Auron since his death, but she strives to make sure she doesn't shirk responsibility in her bending (or breaking) of the rules. She is naive but not stupid, much like Auron on his first pilgrimage -- a quality that I think he mourns as much as he resents.

Their age difference isn't an issue for me. I believe in Spiran culture, as has been the case through most of our history, an 18-year age gap is not unheard of. Plus, neither party is exactly developmentally "normal." Yuna is mature for her age in many ways, and Auron is stunted in many others, because of their upbringings and experiences. They've been ruled by duty, and it gives them much in common. They are on different parts of the same path, and I think Auron's experience gives Yuna some stability and direction, while her innocence and verve gives him back some of what was taken from him by Yunalesca. Several times in the course of the game, Auron demonstrates that he understands Yuna perhaps better than any other of her guardians. He doesn't try to control her or coddle her, and he trusts her instincts.

Before I address the most glaring "obstacle" to this pairing, I should probably say that there is, of course, virtually no way these two could "ride off into the sunset" together. Auron's dead. Unless you resurrect him (and believe me, in my dreams I do sometimes) or imagine he'd be content living as an unsent forever, his time with Yuna is short-lived. He knows this is the case, and he feels it would be detrimental to her to even express his attraction or feelings. She must focus on her pilgrimage, and after the defeat of Yunalesca she ostensibly has her whole life ahead of her. Auron is dead already.

Yuna, for her part, is new to the complications of lust and love. Tidus is as new to her as Auron, aside from whatever vague memories she may have from her childhood. Tidus makes her laugh and distracts her from the weight of her pilgrimage. That is also something that can work against him: they have very little in common. With Auron, there is much in common. I imagine she's spent a lot of time around adults and behaving in an adult manner, so being with him might in many ways be more comfortable for her. She is emotionally vulnerable, though, and because Auron does little to encourage any relationship between the two of them in order to spare her, she focuses on Tidus by default and her feelings for him deepen in due course.

In other words, Auron cares enough about Yuna to concede that Tidus is better for her future. He therefore pushes her toward Tidus, and vice versa. He will let Tidus do what he can't, and then he stands back to make sure he does it right. It's the honorable thing to do.

I imagine a relationship between Auron and Yuna in-game is one of stolen moments, of subtext, of "could-have-been" and "what-if." I imagine they spend a great deal of time talking while on the pilgrimage, about the various things that interest them as well as reminiscing about her father. I imagine they both would keep a tight rein on any physical impulses, although I like to think about it bubbling over and getting out of control in spots. I always imagine the high water mark of their relationship comes at the campsite outside Zanarkand. Auron is preparing to face his past, and Yuna is preparing to face her future. There may not be a moment beyond this one, and emotions are high. Neither can sleep, and conditions are rife for guards to come down and the truth to come forth.

In the end, regardless, Auron always intends to cede any claim he might have on Yuna to Tidus -- irrespective of what Yuna thinks or feels. I imagine several different ways Yuna would react to that, but regardless, when she is only left with Tidus, she clings to him for all she's worth, until he's taken from her as well.

There is no reason Yuna didn't or couldn't have had feelings for Auron, even post-game. It's a matter of realities. Going into the events of X-2, she knows Tidus isn't dead or sent like Auron -- he was a dream of the Fayth. She knows there is no bringing Auron back, so there's no use in pining for him. Tidus, however, is a different story, and so she focuses on him. Change what you can change.

Of course, I like to think of countless variations of this. What if Auron weren't so restrained? What if Yuna weren't as content to simply go where she was being goaded emotionally? What if Tidus was even more narcissistic and self-centered at different points in the game? That's where the real fun begins. Plus, even the most disciplined of wills sometimes slips under duress. That, in my imagination, is where the true nature of the relationship between these two could come out.

I think Yuna and Auron are a powder keg of potential, dampened only by his restraint and self-loathing. If anyone could break through that cloak of darkness, though, it would be Yuna. She could redeem him and give him closure in more ways than one.

That said, the story that brought forth this entire ramble is They’ll Sell Your Wounds As Evidence of Your Hope. The original commentfic version of the story is here.

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Final Fantasy XIII-2

Wed, 19 Jan 2011 01:22:08 GMT

How funny that the trailer for this comes out just when we've finished Final Fantasy XIII. I'd better write any of my post-game stories while I can before SE ruins it for me. LOL (I'll have to write about my strange fixation with needing to fit stories within canon some other time.)

I'm actually excited about the prospect of learning more about the characters and getting to play around more in the world. It worries me that it's due out this year, though. I just hope they give a little more attention to the characters than they did for X-2 (which I love, don't get me wrong - I just don't want to see Serah pregnant and due any day now yet still as thin as she always was).

I'm not a big fan of Light's outfit, and my first reaction to the other person in the preview was naturally, "Who is this stranger bitch?!" but I'm going to give it a chance, as always.

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Final Fantasy XIII Thoughts

Tue, 18 Jan 2011 00:23:41 GMT

Trying REALLY hard to use this more. Not succeeding a whole lot.

We finished the main storyline of Final Fantasy XIII this weekend. I was surprised how much I got into the game once it finally picked up steam in Chapter 11. That's a long time to invest in a lot of boring action, but Gran Pulse (for the most part) paid off.

Now, some rambling, off-the-top-of-my-head thoughts.

( In case you are sensitive about spoilers. )

That was much longer than I expected. I think all-in-all I have to say I probably enjoyed XIII more than XII, although I think XII had so much more potential, especially with its characters. I'm wondering what this XIII-2 sequel people are speculating about will be about...

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My Yuletide Stories

Tue, 18 Jan 2011 00:22:34 GMT

I religiously stalked the Yuletide Pinch Hitters list in hopes I'd find a prompt I could do so I could somehow be involved. My old standby favorite fandom Final Fantasy X-2 came through for me. It was strange how hard it was for me to find a voice to put my vision for my story into words, but with a lot of help from my partner-in-everything and all-around authority on Gippal, I think it turned out pretty well. It was a nice little intro to my vision of the characters while transitioning them from the established canon - or at least I thought. I really want to write more about Paine, Gippal, Baralai and Nooj - and their relationships.

First Impressions (FFX-2; Baralai, Gippal, Paine, Nooj)

I'm still in the middle of FFXIII, but by this point I've fallen hard for Snow, and when I saw the request for Snow/Fang, my smut-dar pinged and I knew I had to make it so. It was fun to write Fang's devil-may-care attitude and give Snow a little bit of depth and conflict. Plus, it was just fun to visualize.

Alone Time (FFXIII; Snow/Fang; Explicit)

I'm already looking forward to next year!

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Yuletidings

Fri, 31 Dec 2010 04:19:09 GMT

I've had this journal for something like six months, so I thought maybe I should actually use it for something besides posting the occasional fic.

I participated in Yuletide for the first time since something like 2005. I somehow managed to miss the signups, but I did get to pinch hit and even do a Yuletide Madness fic. The fun part about the Madness fic that I did was that it flowed so easily off my fingers. I haven't had a story do that in a long time. It's fun to write stories to specifications. It made me feel a bit more part of a community again.

The thing I noticed about Yuletide this year as opposed to when I was last involved with it is that I'm unfamiliar with most of the fandoms. It makes it hard to read and rec, but I found a couple I really liked in fandoms that are near and dear to my heart.

( 3 Recs Below )

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Where Were You When... (Three Final Fantasy X-2 Drabbles; Gen; Mention of non-con m/m sex)

Tue, 20 Jul 2010 15:17:06 GMT

The moment Sin was forever destroyed, the three former Crimson Squad members who would rise to power at the beginning of the Eternal Calm were scattered throughout Spira. These are glimpses of that fateful moment, through each of their eyes.

In response to ff_fortnightly Round 36, with prompts: #35 Anarchy, #36 "No Dialogue" and #37 Senses.

Patience Is A Virtue (Baralai)

“Sin is destroyed! It is over!”

The faint shouts outside caught Baralai’s attention, and he pressed against the door of his small room, listening for sounds in the hallway. Silence. He cracked open the door and found the passage empty--his guard gone. Finally, an opportunity.

Baralai crept down the empty hallway, through the abandoned living room. He could hear frantic voices outside, crying, screams.

“We must abandon Guadosalam! They will come for us!”

“No! This is our home!”

“It is no use! Seymour is gone! We are doomed!”

Baralai continued through the foyer and upstairs--the familiar path to Seymour’s bedroom, which stood abandoned, tomb-like. He shuddered, thinking of the hours he had spent in this torture chamber catering to Seymour’s sadistic whims.

He rifled through drawers, cabinets, clothing, papers, spheres, until he found the locked box that had tantalized him during his service in the bedchamber. It bore Yevon’s seal, and Baralai knew Seymour had collected its contents from Bevelle’s deepest archives. They held the secrets Seymour used to consolidate power in Yevon.

Baralai threw one last look over his shoulder to the large bed, then with a grim smile tucked the box under his arm. He had earned this.

---

When One Door Closes (Gippal)

The first thing Gippal did after he boarded Cid’s airship was get right back off of it. There was too much sadness in the air, too many memories of Home. It was hard to grieve when you couldn’t find a space to call your own. So, when Cid and company decided to crash Lady Yuna’s wedding, Gippal took his leave as well, wandering south to the Macalania Woods.

Traveling alone in silence was a welcome haven for Gippal as he recovered from the shock of losing the Crimson Squad and then Home--the only two places he had ever felt he’d belonged. He continued south on foot, through the Thunder Plains, Guadosalam, the Moonflow. He had no particular destination--he networked with people, making contacts, looking for opportunities.

The din of cheers and explosions from machina weapons reached Gippal’s ears long before he saw Djose Temple. He weaved through Crusaders hugging and cheering, children dancing, priests smiling into the distance while wiping bitter tears. They too had lost where they belonged.

The temple remained heedless and cold, just like Yevon staring down an Al Bhed. No one stopped Gippal as he took a deep breath, threw open the doors and walked inside.

---

Phantom Pain (Nooj)

The throbbing in his left knee kept Nooj awake. An old war injury, sustained when he was fourteen. The healer had done his job, but the pain lingered--even now. The Al Bhed called it "phantom pain." He felt it in other places, too: his arm; his heart.

Nooj sat up and pounded on the aching joint, gritting his teeth as his right fist hit cold metal. This wasn’t the time to be distracted by meaningless aches. The splinter Crusader group he was sheltering with had received word that Lady Yuna’s party had entered Sin’s body earlier in the day. He had to be ready for whatever would come.

The Calm Lands were eerily silent, every insect, fiend, and person holding its breath, gaze turned toward the soft glow of Bevelle over the rise to the south. Nooj chewed on the inside of his cheek as he too watched, helpless, waiting for the Summoner to do the unthinkable.

Near dawn, the light over Bevelle bloomed into a blinding explosion. Nooj felt the shockwave approach, a giant exhalation speeding toward them, inescapable. He shielded his face with his machina arm and willed silently that in death, Sin might show him more mercy.

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Three Final Fantasy X Drabbles [Gen/slight hint of m/m slash, All Audiences]

Thu, 10 Jun 2010 03:32:18 GMT

In response to ff_fortnightly Round 35, with prompts: #35 Useless, #36 Consolation and #37 Gossip.

Love, Honor and... (Auron, Mika)

"You claim to serve Yevon, yet refuse a simple command?"

"Maester Mika, I do not understand how marriage will improve my service to Yevon!"

"We do not ask you to understand, Auron. We ask you to obey."

"I have given my life since childhood to the temples. My will is strong, my body able, my heart on fire. I will work tirelessly to help defend Yevon, to fight Sin, to protect the people of Spira. I have no time for marriage, for selfish or political things. I want to serve! What can I do?"

"If not this?" Mika sneered. "Nothing."

---

Semantics (Auron, Braska)

"Auron! How unexpected! How was your meeting with the Maester?" Braska moved to embrace his friend.

Auron immediately knelt, head bowed. "Allow me to serve you on your pilgrimage, Braska."

Braska gasped, nonplussed. "I thought your temple duties--"

"Braska!"

"Besides," Braska protested, "the job is to guard me. Be with me. Not serve me."

Auron looked up, amber eyes betraying wild desperation -- a man lost. "Braska, please."

Braska held Auron's gaze for a long moment, then awkwardly took his hand, relenting. "Very well. I accept your-- service, Guardian."

Auron pressed Braska's palm to his damp cheek. "My Lord."

---

Where There's Smoke (Auron, Jecht, Braska)

"So you're the guy the guards were talking about who refused to marry some girl and got axed," Jecht mused as the companions walked toward the Highbridge.

Auron scowled in disbelief. "Do you have no tact?"

"And then you go on a crazy mission to defeat this Sin thing with an underdog summoner--" Jecht continued.

"And a raving drunk."

Jecht cackled. "Turned down a woman to journey to certain death with a man. You know what they're saying about you?"

Auron gazed at Braska silently walking ahead of them, and his lips curved into a grim smile.

"Let them talk."

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